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Katharine Kapodistria's avatar

This is very true! I turned 40 in September, started writing short stories in October, and posting them on here in November. You have it spot-on: it feels so cringey to be saying to strangers 'Read my story' - the way my eight-year-old says it to me - at my age. Thanks for acknowledging this side of creativity!

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

the only way out of the cringe, is THROUGH the cringe lol!

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Katharine Kapodistria's avatar

Haha nice!

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Sarah Hawthorn's avatar

Last century, self promoting would more likely lose you admiration than gain it (how sad to have to try so hard!) now you can’t get anywhere without it - but I cringe every time I post about my books and absolutely hate that it’s an expectation, part of the ‘deal’. (Was that a passive self promotion I ask myself?). But you’re right, no endeavour succeeded without trying

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

It's definitely a different time! but I think rather than seeing it as self promotion, it's important to see it as self expression. And if that promotes your work at the same time, then fab! x

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Daphne V's avatar

Oh God, I’m in my late thirties and my entire newsletter is about “trying”. It’s definitely a bit cringe, but I’ve got nothing left to lose at this point!

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

And everything to gain!!

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Sonia's avatar

So true! Although I think I was embarrassed to be seen ‘trying’ even as a teenager (and still in my 20s). And agree the unintended consequences are almost always more interesting than what you might have originally strived for x

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

Right?! The unintended consequences are what keep me motivated these days.

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caraline golson's avatar

I read this as a pep talk before posting the link to my first post. It helped! Vulnerability is scary!

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

I love that!! Gonna go read your post now…

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Jessica Meltzer's avatar

oh i love this! and i am so glad i discovered you and your brilliant writing. excited to be here 🫶

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

So happy you’re here!!! 🩷🩷🩷

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Sarah Maria Lillig's avatar

I loved to read your thoughts on the magic of trying and exposing oneself vulnerable as we come - I personally think it’s the only way to genuine and meaningful connection <3

It takes courage though and a good handful of self worth to do this, so thank you!

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

I hadn't thought about the self worth element. You're so right! x

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Silvia Morales's avatar

Thank you. I needed this reminder.

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

I think I wrote to keep reminding myself, also! <3

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Silvia Morales's avatar

It’s interesting you say that; I feel like my entire Substack is a reminder to myself. Little time capsules about how I was experiencing life at any given point in time, or things about my past that I have now processed and don’t want to forget.

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

Like you took the words right out of my mouth.

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Dee's avatar

So true! I’ve been thinking about this today and why I feel so cringe to be 33 & trying, changing careers and being a beginner in something. Thanks for sharing 💜

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

It feels cringe but it's actually so brave and very cool!! <3

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Laure Raimondi's avatar

I've just started a Substack account at 32 and it took me 5 days to post my first post. Who was just a small piece to introduce me. So yes I m trying but yessss it feels scary af.

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

Congrats on posting! The more you post, the less scary it feels.

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Julianna Cassata's avatar

Wowow this spoke to me! Less than a month away from 34, I feel this piece of your post deep in my bones: “I had stopped trying to be the person I thought the world expected me to be (as it turns out, I don’t actually think anyone was paying that much attention) and surrendered to life as it was unfolding.”

I’m going to carry this forward into 34 and wanted to thank you for sharing these thoughts. I needed to hear them.

Subscribed and looking forward to more! 🙏🏻

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

And I was 34 when I had that big realisation! Surrender is your best friend xx

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Matt Cyr's avatar

Well written. Fired me up in all the right ways. Great voice to your words. Keep writing. Subscribed. 👊

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

Why thank you!! ☺️

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Sinéad Connolly✨'s avatar

Love this post, I feel seen 👀

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

I see you!! 👀

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The 30 Year Shift's avatar

Thanks for sharing, I loved reading

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

Thanks for reading! ❤️

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Lindsey Weidenbach's avatar

So beautifully said! So much of what you said applies to me and my substack, How to be a Difficult Woman. It’s helping me unpack what I’ve kept close. And it’s so much god damn fun.

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Jasmine S's avatar

I really enjoyed this. I think we are about the same age :) This is really the inspiration I need to push forward with my Newsletter in the upcoming year. I took a brave leap and started the Newsletter, but the fear of "being seen trying" has held me back from writing and publishing more newsletters. I find myself second-guessing my ideas, wondering if this is worthy of a newsletter or if my subscribers will care about this topic, if they will enjoy my writing etc. Your writing has reminded me of the value of creative expression, whether or not that leads to "success on Substack" or not :)

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