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suansita k.'s avatar

Wow, this is a thing? Not being a mother myself, I've wondered whether I would choose to know the sex of the baby or not, and whether I would find myself, without wanting to, having a preference. It completely shocks me if it's true what you say that the majority of women want to have a girl😧 And it's deeply concerning to me if this is motivated by a desire to live vicariously through them. (Interesting contrast with traditional cultural preferences for having a boy to bear the family name, inherit etc).

This is going to be my question/contribution for my next few conversations with friends and colleagues.

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

It is most certainly a thing 😂 to be fair though, I don’t think the desire to “live vicariously through them” is a conscious one. I think it’s more so what society/culture and our own relationships with our mothers suggest to us about what a mother-daughter rel will be.

My main point is exactly that - examine your expectations- whether you’re having a boy or girl!

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jewels mlnarik's avatar

while i cannot relate to the mothering aspect of this, as a woman choosing not to have kids, I so very much appreciate the wisdom in searching our disappointments for (oft hidden) expectations. this tiny practice feels so powerful. 🙏

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Tessa Carranza-Hawthorn's avatar

I actually hadn't thought about using this as a practice in life more generally, but I definitely will now. Thank you! <3

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