Oh ouch, sorry about that text! I wonder if that person felt they were saving you from yourself or something (I did receive feedback like that once from a cousin I’ve barely ever seen or spoken to IRL). Glad you were able to move past that even if it took months🥲
I’ve asked myself the same question (more kindly) as I don’t want my writing to be a public journal but I’ve also realised my own experiences are my best authority. My desire to share isn’t about affirmation or venting but about connecting with people on the off chance my experiences speak to theirs, too.
I think there’s also a lot to be said for mastering your craft. Putting in the hours at the page, taking writing courses (memoir, essay etc) to learn how to execute the like between public diary and work that connects with readers.
Knowing mostly the girl you once were, I absolutely love to read your pieces about the experiences you’ve had and the woman you’ve become…and I will look forward to witnessing the many iterations of you that you will continue to discover, Tessa. All stories written or told are human stories, and the value in writing the story of the self cannot be measured by how widely it appeals, but how deftly the story lands upon those audiences in which it does strike a chord. Keep composing!
Janelle this comment really made me cry (excuse my postpartum hormones). It took me back to the boarding house and then made me think about everything life puts in front of us between girl and womanhood. And how amazing it is for someone (you) to have care for, and interest in, that evolution.
I winced reading about the message you received. I felt very vulnerable when I first started writing and feared deeply what others would think. When those feelings pop up now, I remind myself that if my words help one person, it was worth hitting publish. We all need connection, and sharing our stories is truly a brave and generous thing to do!
Thank you for the solidarity! It was a tough little pill to swallow, but also a great hurdle to overcome. I tell myself the same things you tell yourself too. And I really believe it <3
"I believe that in writing the self, I become more available for other kinds of work." I really loved this take.
I wonder why that person sent you that message. It would be like telling someone to post about anything but themselves on instagram, writing is no different.
I think it was a projection. “Their stuff” to use common parlance about the idea of taking up too much space. But who knows. Agree with your take re instagram and hadn’t thought of it like that!
I'd venture to suggest that everything we write, as authors, is essentially about ourselves because where else do we get our insights and ability to inhabit emotions from? Just because we invent characters and other voices, doesn't mean 'ourself' isn't also present, somewhere in the telling. So... from self-indulgent babble, great stories are realised (disguised).
"To paraphrase, she essentially suggested there were more interesting topics I could cover which would allow for a wider audience to enjoy, than stories about myself. The very loud subtext was: this is starting to read like self-indulgent babble."
- your friend's voice is my internal one, so I've been working hard on trying to debunk it. What I recently found that was fascinating is that a huge amount of viral essays of the last year are actually what I would classify as "stories about the self" - either events from personal life showing some cultural trends (like "We should all talk to strangers more") or stories about internal states that show a broader cultural vibe (like "In praise of gazing at the ceiling"). This really stuck with me because my internal voice has been telling me that for my writing to be interesting it has to be - for the lack of a better word - "external" as in useful, discussing the world, tech, business, whatever, and anything even close to navel-gazing is not going to cut it.
I cannot recommend more highly that you read Body Work by Melisa Febos. It’s basically a book about the importance of writing the self. Its life changing for that internal voice ! Helped me so much x
Oh ouch, sorry about that text! I wonder if that person felt they were saving you from yourself or something (I did receive feedback like that once from a cousin I’ve barely ever seen or spoken to IRL). Glad you were able to move past that even if it took months🥲
I’ve asked myself the same question (more kindly) as I don’t want my writing to be a public journal but I’ve also realised my own experiences are my best authority. My desire to share isn’t about affirmation or venting but about connecting with people on the off chance my experiences speak to theirs, too.
I think there’s also a lot to be said for mastering your craft. Putting in the hours at the page, taking writing courses (memoir, essay etc) to learn how to execute the like between public diary and work that connects with readers.
Yes, absolutely!
Knowing mostly the girl you once were, I absolutely love to read your pieces about the experiences you’ve had and the woman you’ve become…and I will look forward to witnessing the many iterations of you that you will continue to discover, Tessa. All stories written or told are human stories, and the value in writing the story of the self cannot be measured by how widely it appeals, but how deftly the story lands upon those audiences in which it does strike a chord. Keep composing!
Janelle this comment really made me cry (excuse my postpartum hormones). It took me back to the boarding house and then made me think about everything life puts in front of us between girl and womanhood. And how amazing it is for someone (you) to have care for, and interest in, that evolution.
‘The thing you are writing is the answer to what you are facing.’ Love this. Very resonant! Thank you.
Thank you for reading and sharing!
You’re welcome!
I winced reading about the message you received. I felt very vulnerable when I first started writing and feared deeply what others would think. When those feelings pop up now, I remind myself that if my words help one person, it was worth hitting publish. We all need connection, and sharing our stories is truly a brave and generous thing to do!
Thank you for the solidarity! It was a tough little pill to swallow, but also a great hurdle to overcome. I tell myself the same things you tell yourself too. And I really believe it <3
Great piece. Thanks for sharing. ✨
Thank you for reading 🙏
This resonates so much. I love reading your writing :)
That’s the greatest compliment, thank you! ☺️
"I believe that in writing the self, I become more available for other kinds of work." I really loved this take.
I wonder why that person sent you that message. It would be like telling someone to post about anything but themselves on instagram, writing is no different.
I think it was a projection. “Their stuff” to use common parlance about the idea of taking up too much space. But who knows. Agree with your take re instagram and hadn’t thought of it like that!
I'd venture to suggest that everything we write, as authors, is essentially about ourselves because where else do we get our insights and ability to inhabit emotions from? Just because we invent characters and other voices, doesn't mean 'ourself' isn't also present, somewhere in the telling. So... from self-indulgent babble, great stories are realised (disguised).
Everything is copy! As the great late great nora ephron would say. So true x
Loved this, especially the encouraging insight at the end. Such an innate, powerful thing.
Thank you! 🙏
"To paraphrase, she essentially suggested there were more interesting topics I could cover which would allow for a wider audience to enjoy, than stories about myself. The very loud subtext was: this is starting to read like self-indulgent babble."
- your friend's voice is my internal one, so I've been working hard on trying to debunk it. What I recently found that was fascinating is that a huge amount of viral essays of the last year are actually what I would classify as "stories about the self" - either events from personal life showing some cultural trends (like "We should all talk to strangers more") or stories about internal states that show a broader cultural vibe (like "In praise of gazing at the ceiling"). This really stuck with me because my internal voice has been telling me that for my writing to be interesting it has to be - for the lack of a better word - "external" as in useful, discussing the world, tech, business, whatever, and anything even close to navel-gazing is not going to cut it.
I cannot recommend more highly that you read Body Work by Melisa Febos. It’s basically a book about the importance of writing the self. Its life changing for that internal voice ! Helped me so much x
Instant borrow on my Libby app - thanks for the rec!